Last 5yrs Dealing With Depression Part one

Looking back over the last five years and how Depression has played a role in my life.  A lot has happened in the last five years.

Five Years Summuary

1. Movie Gallery Closed 2010
2. Break-up and lose of Childhood Best Friend 2010
3. Losing best Childhood Female Friend 2010
4. Economy made it hard to find New Job  
5. Disney Closed Store I was Working At  2011
6. Got fired after one years work at Silver Dollar City because of my Disability   2011
7. Two years with Mcdonald's to be fired because of my Disability (Unemployment determined)  2012
8. Lost apartment because Land Lord decided they didn't like my Dog anymore.  2012
9. Weeks shy of two year marker at Price Cutters Lost job due to two and five min late and depression   2014
10. Two and half years of trips to St Louis helping Family (BFF) *Would do it all again*   2013-2015
11. Co-living with Sister and Best friend with her kids. 2013- current

That's a lot for just one person to go though by them self.  I'll give a little background to what went though my mind, and how I coped with each one.  Might take a little time so bare with me.  I'm going to talk about the first 5 and make a part two for the rest.

Ten-year at Movie Gallery came to an end.   The company went bankrupt and closed all there USA doors, three years gone right out the door.  I ended up with a ton of movies and a load of unemployment.  I was averaging almost $200 week.  I had worked as many as 3-4 jobs at one point during my time at Movie Gallery.  I could handle the struggle and stress of a very busy life.  I sold tickets for a Travel Club, Time Share in a Call Center setting, worked with kids with special needs at support meetings to help there parents, these were all successful places I worked while at Movie Gallery.  There was one job that I went to work Hardee's  I applied for a night position and was put on weekend biscuit making, my car also was reposed at the time so I couldn't walk across town.  They labeled me a no call no show even when I called them 10-times and they said it was covered. I wasn't heart broken over this period in time.

I officially walked away from someone I cared a lot about summer of 2010.  I cut all ties and connection, I felt no communication was the best for me.  I had a lot to deal with, we were best friends since 7th grade, we didn't date until after High School.  And than there was the emotional abuse that i'd been taking because of his own problems and depression.  There might have been some physical forcing me to stay in a room or to sit on the couch small stuff like that.  But enough to do damage.  I wouldn't put it past anything if I don't suffer from a little PTSD from it all.  He walked out for 15 days and I realized I was not looking people in the eyes.  It made me remember a lesson I once gave a co-ed Venturing Crew about relationship abuse and at that moment realized it was time to end things.  It doesn't matter how much you love a person or how right it is to be with them.  If you cant do the things you enjoy and enjoy them, your life becomes homebody its time to leave.  I went three in a half years of no communication with him and than randomly he called me.  But that's another story for another blog.

Than there was the long-term friend that the two of you were glued to the hip all though school.  Everyone has issues and deals with them in there own way.  But to lash out at those who love you, and want to help you overcome them is not always the best.  That is what happened here, she decided to push everyone away including her own family.  And in doing so me being stubburn knew something was wrong.  I tried to get her to communicate to sort things out.
It backfired instead I got.  You took the love of my life, I had to watch you be happy with him.  My husband wanted you not me, We were never friends it was all an act. I used you to get what I could to benefit myself and you just couldn't go away.  It never meant anything.
Even though I know she was hurting and talking lies to purposely push me away.  It still hurt that over 12ish years wasted.  I walked away and we went a good four to five years with little to no communication.  We only recently started talking around thanksgiving time.

Than we have the good old economy crash that everyone had to endure.  I took the summer off after Movie Gallery closed and enjoyed going to Silver Dollar City and swimming and hanging with friends.  Than randomly walked into Disney got an application and applied by November I had the job.  While at Movie Gallery I did however apply for Disney though Craigslist and was offered an interview by the Reganal Manager and I was not able to make it. That had a hand in me getting hired so fast.  They remembered my application from few months prior. Disney shut its doors March 22nd the day before my birthday.  I was offered a job with West Gate end of February so I was already safe.  I ended up leaving before closing dates.  Only lasted until April wasn't the right season to be trying time share.The day they let me go I applied online at McDonalds'. I had a call and interview that day hrs after my application.  I was told I had the job but had to go though procedure and wait for second interview.  I also had interview with Silver Dollar City that same weekend.  Landed both interviews for SDC in the same sitting.  Was offered that job too. So I did both.  Oh my gosh was it crazy.

I worked at SDC and Mcdonalds' at the same time.  I'd get up for SDC at 6AM and leave the house between 6:30-7AM.  I had to be at SDC at my work site by 8AM to get the kitchen ready to open by 9:30AM.  I would work untill 2-4PM most days. And would have just enough time after riding shuttle to my car to drive accross Branson to Mcdonalds to work.  Sometimes i'd run in my work outfit (early 1900s' dress) and have to rush to change.  I'd normally was on schedule anywhere from 40hrs - 65hrs at SDC we close early and the hours never exceeded 50hrs.  And I would do about 25-40hrs at Mcdonalds'.  I'll make a blog all in its own about the departure of SDC and Mcdonalds and how it effected me.

I can handle stress on the job.  Just don't treat me like i'm stupid.  I don't like feeling like i'm being pushed out and excluded.  Were suppose to be a team, a work family and that's not how you develop that work relationship.