Forbidden Love

Have you every meet someone that you just knew was the one?  You knew from that first day they would become your world, you would grow old together?  Many of us search our whole lives looking for that connection, that image we draw in our heads to give us our perfect match.  Only to one day have it all shattered and realize that your dream will never become a reality.

Forbidden Love

The moment your heart stops. The every thought that is wasted by there image.  You tell yourself your over you moved on but than you catch yourself wondering if you really did.  You know you love them but that for circumstances at hand you can not be together.  Though everyone sees you hang out together and its natural for them to see you as one a couple, husband and wife you have both been mistaken many of times.

There not perfect but neither are you but to you they are everything.  The tenderness they only have shown you, the many nights you held them while they cried, the many nights they knew that you just needed to be held.  The memories of all the above and  beyond they did for you.  When you recall them you make them seem to be a perfect angle, yet when you talk of the bad they are terrifying.

That no matter what happenes or how long your apart you can't get them out of your thoughts.  That deep down in your heart you know you will be together again yet everything in your mind says to stay away.  You do everythiing to keep yourself away from them but know that something as simple as talking or seeing one another could throw everything you work so hard to fight will just crumble at your feet.

You want the best for them. And sometimes Matters of the Heart are not the best for oneself.  You want to do everything within your power to know they will always be safe. Yet you understand they need to find there way on there own just like you have done.

My Views on PTSD questions and opinions

So in therapy I have been trying to understand and cope with P.T.S.D. I'VE COME TO LEARN THAT SOME THINGS TRIGGER IT MORE THAN OTHERS, some people effect you more than others.  Is there a way to heal and not completely lose the all the memories and connection to people that you hold dear in ones life.  How does one deal with all the flashbacks of the good times. The feeling that you once had that changed your day for the better. Only to be smashed to reality with all the tears and break ups.

I've learned its a never ending battle the what ifs, the could have been's.  I'm told that to heal you must walk away from anything connected to the cause.  But I find my self wanting to hold on to the good, and the hope that maybe someday those who caused such hurt could maybe some day be seen as the friend that they once was that walked away.  For me, I have learned that by accepting the things that have been done are in the past. And no matter how much I was hurt by there actions its ultamitly my thoughts that have caused it to be an on going hurt.

Maybe this is just a dallusion I have and my thoughts are totally wrong.  Maybe I hold onto things and find myself being attached to things I find a similarity too, or feel connected with and don't want to let go.  Maybe I have more personality dissorders that I don't know about that makes me get attached fast once I open up.  Because I find thouse I say are a friend are always one in my eyes even when I know the friendship is gone or over.