So in therapy I have been trying to understand and cope with P.T.S.D. I'VE COME TO LEARN THAT SOME THINGS TRIGGER IT MORE THAN OTHERS, some people effect you more than others. Is there a way to heal and not completely lose the all the memories and connection to people that you hold dear in ones life. How does one deal with all the flashbacks of the good times. The feeling that you once had that changed your day for the better. Only to be smashed to reality with all the tears and break ups.
I've learned its a never ending battle the what ifs, the could have been's. I'm told that to heal you must walk away from anything connected to the cause. But I find my self wanting to hold on to the good, and the hope that maybe someday those who caused such hurt could maybe some day be seen as the friend that they once was that walked away. For me, I have learned that by accepting the things that have been done are in the past. And no matter how much I was hurt by there actions its ultamitly my thoughts that have caused it to be an on going hurt.
Maybe this is just a dallusion I have and my thoughts are totally wrong. Maybe I hold onto things and find myself being attached to things I find a similarity too, or feel connected with and don't want to let go. Maybe I have more personality dissorders that I don't know about that makes me get attached fast once I open up. Because I find thouse I say are a friend are always one in my eyes even when I know the friendship is gone or over.
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